Matthew Latkiewicz returns to McSweeney’s today for the 15th installment of his wine (…ish) column “Stained Teeth”.

“Wine Reviews of Stuff That Isn’t Wine” offers such gems as:

2009 Fall Foliage Season, Western MA

Offers pale-straw yellow, Sprite-can green, but much less raspberry in the color than one would hope for. The ‘09 air weaves together wood stove and menthol with just enough winter notes to make you sad. The traffic along Route 2 from Boston brings a busyness to the texture that’s interesting at first, but ultimately unappealing. Doesn’t display nearly enough pumpkin or fake scarecrow to really be called a great vintage. Paired with the right beer, however, the New England character of the ‘09 really shines through: apple cider; men in plaid wool; a bit of pilgrim hat.

Below 70 points and sometimes I would say below 60. Drink for the next month.

Read the whole thing right over here…